Friday, 21 May 2010

Who Wants to be Content? ...

It's boring innit?
Or is that just me?
Is it a flaw to want more?
Is it a flaw to never be happy with what you've got?
Does it mean you can never be happy?

Ahh well. There we go. I'll forever be wanting more from life. When I'm a highflyer no one's gonna say
'Why can't you just be happy with what you've got?'

Everything's black and white. Either its good or it's not. No half measures. No half arsed attempts. No dunno about that. No maybe's, just yes or no. Good or Bad, in short, Black and White.
That how I roll so either jump on for the ride or don't. Your choice but once you're on there's no getting off.
Make your decision.

Thursday, 25 February 2010

Long time no blog.

Sorry guys.

I've been lacking on the blog front lately.

Many things have happened. I seem to be surrounded by death. I have an absolute mountain of work. Sixth form stresses me out. My dad's clueless. I have no job. I have no money as a result of no job. I have no job because I have no time. I have no time because of my work. I have so much work because I'm so behind because thing's fell apart and I had no time. Basically, I need another day or 48 hour days. I also need more sleep.

But for every lorry load of shit that comes along, there has to be a good thing to balance it out!

1. Saw my first film - strangest feeling EVER. Seeing yourself on the tele in a proper film is crazy!
2. Travelled to a hotel on business.
3. Got a hotel loyalty card because I travelled on business
4. Spent far too much money on travelling.
5. Auditioned for a pilot - which I got!

All this gets me to wondering if this is what I really want.
I'm rubbish at balancing school and normal life and acting work. So can I just cut out school?
I feel this will greatly help my situation. What do we reckon?

I'm going to do my ASs and then I'm going to run away with the circus!
Or run away with a travelling theatre company or film crew.

Is it me or do I sound like I want to run away. It's not so much running and fucking sprinting. I'm bored and want to get away is that so wrong?
No of course it isn't i've just got itchy feet and want to move on with life.

As soon as the pilot becomes a big thing (hopefully) all this will seem a distant memory and life will present itself as the yellow brick road in The Wizard of Oz.

Thursday, 31 December 2009

2009

Wow. What a year.

1. Acting course
2. Fear/Love Filming
3. Aisling's children in Edinbugh
4. Acting course - Glasgow
5. Zombie filming
6. End of GCSE's
7.Katy Perry
8. Various Camden trips
9. BBC various
10. I am a Great Man filming
11. Avenue Q
12. Avatar
13. Grownups
14. Two pints
15. Ice Skating London
16. Learning to drive
17. New Moon

 I tried to do a top 20 but to be fair I couldn't think of 20 things I've done that I can remember! SHOCKING because I know I've done millions of things! That's obviously why I can't remember them.

What I've learnt in 2009; Life goes on. Have bucket loads of ambition. Be determined and to be fair you can't go wrong!

I can't honestly say I regret anything from 2009, except maybe doing work when I say I will but that's never ever going to happen.

Admittedly bad things happen to people and you're whole life might change but there's nowt you can do about it so you've got to just get on with it and adapt, you never know it might be a blessing in disguise.

Resolution for 2009 - Do everything, take everything and enjoy it

Resolution for 2010 - Do everything, take everything and enjoy it more.

All that's left to say is onwards and upwards and meet me at the top.

Happy New Year.

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Wow. I haven't blogged in a long long time. Loads of things have happened recently. Nothing career based though which is annoying. School has become all consuming. Still finish on friday and I can get cracking with some other stuff.

I've lost my voice and I've got really ill which isnt too enjoyable. My tonsils are like enormous and I can't breath without coughing. So all in all I'm very healthy. Plague performance in acting either tomorrow or tuesday my hacking cough may prove to be a hindrance or a blessing we shall see.

It's actually got stupidly close to christmas without me noticing which I'm not too overjoyed at but yeah.
So I suppose this has been a pointless blog!  Just planning on chilling out now get better and stuff.

So yeah :D

Merry Christmas x

Thursday, 5 November 2009

It's About Time...

It's about time I let go of stuff tbh. I hold grudges, negativity and the sense of loss. I suppose everyone does - Just not me up until now.
At the time it goes straight over my head; doesn't bother me at all, it's not until I get to a point where I feel hugely stressed that it all surfaces again. Stress tears. The only time I EVER cry. some things have happened lately to me make me feel like utter shite and yet I still find myself adding to it. the way I am I suppose. I just had a great idea for a song then!

"Everything happens for a reason"
Yeah I just don't like the reason tbh! It's not good enough!!

There aren't enough hours in the day - I've felt like that before but with an end in sight thats the bit I don't enjoy. This stress is an ongoing stress that isnt going to let up! The sense of never ending is what I can't deal with! Other instances like this have been where it's been for something and then nothing afterwards.

I got told today I'd make a really good teacher. First time anyone's actually said it to me. I'm not sure I could do it. I used to think teaching was a cop out - I'm not so sure anymore i think its easier to become established but its that same ongoingness that I couldn't do.
I love the kids though I think they're awesome- I'm doing it for them "Children are our future" for want of better quotes. I just want to make sure that kids get the same from it as I did.

I'm so easily annoyed right now and constantly feeling like a spare part is just going to make me more into getting more out of the kids.

All this stuff HAS to help get into drama school right?
I also got told I'm "bound" to make it because I'm out there trying now. Dunno if i believe them!

i have this little stressed out noise i do it's only been around since like may - this feeling reminds me of the drama exam. Biggest difference is then I had support now the person who's supposed to tell you to chill is one of the main people who contribute to the stressing out!
It would just be nice to have some thanks for once, you dont need to say it because if you say it and dont mean it its meaningless. Just would be nice for her to not expect this level of stuff- i'm doing more than the rest of the world so lets not be adding any more stuff ey! OOOOOOO NO not with her LETS ADD SOME MORE CRAP ON TOP TO STRESS HER OUT LOADS MORE.

She doesn't get me at all. Generally I'm a very chilled out person but expectation is something i cant deal with. Up to a certain point aye expecting it will get the best from people but you can push people too far and I've gone past my line.!!!!!

The world would be perfect without all the people in it...

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

LONG TIME!

WOW masses have happened since my last blog. I've been a zombie- frickin awesome day! Really really sticky fake blood though but nothing would put a dampner on the day to be honest. The fear/love trailers have come out I don't feature in them though which is good! I can't really say I enjoy watching myself. Not good really when you want to be an actor. I can't really remember much of anything else that has happened. I'm pretty chilled right now. Busy and lots to do but nonetheless chilled! I like it this way!

PEACE x

Saturday, 17 October 2009

WOW

Well basically I've had one of the craziest weeks of my life! I met a totally amazing person who totally made me so much more focused - I've spent a few hours so far searching for good monologues and working on them. Before I wanted it to happen instantly now I'm more aware of the amount of time it takes.
Needing 48 hour days right now! It's fun.

My little dancers are so awesome!! I'll be blogging about them on monday after their little performance I'm like nervous for them! LOL

I've spent wayy too much money on plays this past month! LOL but I love it!

Anyways a quick blog - a rather pointless blog I must say but I felt guilty for not blogging of late! LOL I could have made some interesting info up but that would be even more pointless!

REALLY REALLY must get on with some work now! I keep putting it off. MUST STOP THAT! LOL

PEACE x!